A trigger is something that impacts your emotional state (this can be both ‘positive’ and ‘negative’, but for the purpose of this lesson we will be focusing on those triggers that create a ‘negative’ emotional response within you).

Having triggers, and being triggered by things in our environment/lives, is a normal part of the human experience.

Every person has triggers…

Every person’s triggers are different…

And every person’s reactions/responses to those triggers are different. They are simply our defense mechanisms and/or our learnt patterns.

The beautiful thing about knowing what your triggers are is that awareness invites in mindfulness…

When you know what triggers you, you’re able to respond to those triggers, rather than react. 

This is important!

What’s the difference between reacting and responding you might ask?

Reacting is often done unconsciously and automatically. We are triggered, and without turning inwards, scanning our inner landscape or actively processing what we’re feeling in the moment, we immediately react…

This can look like yelling, speaking unkindly, ‘storming out’, slamming doors, swearing and saying things we don’t mean.

For most people, reacting doesn’t feel good and often has a lot of shame and regret attached to it. 

Responding on the other hand, is more intentional…

We are triggered and instead of responding out of habit, we press pause, breathe and then make a conscious decision about how we want to move forward.

Responding often feels calmer, and is more objective.

There are a million-and-one different experiences and circumstances that we humans can be triggered by…

• Being dismissed by our partner

• Feeling unheard in a workplace meeting

• Feeling rejected

• Someone else’s anger/sadness/worry

• Certain sounds or smells

• Feeling financially stretched

• Familial dynamics

• Missing out on an interview/job/promotion

…the manifestations of triggers are many and varied.

The wonderful thing about becoming more intimate with our triggers is that once we know what they are, we’re more able to be lovingly alert to them and ‘catch’ them as they arise.

In your journal, consider:

• What triggers me?

• How have I reacted/responded to these triggers in the past? 

• How do I feel about this way of reacting/responding?

• How might I try to do things differently next time?

• What strategies would help me to respond, rather than react?

Stepping away from the situation for five minutes? Deep breathing? Going for a run? Screaming into a pillow? 

Learning how to respond to the things that trigger you, rather than react, takes time and practice. 

For some, in the beginning stages of their journey, it may be more important to celebrate the attempt, rather than the outcome…

Knowing that with devotion and mindfulness, responding will become your new ‘norm’ in time.

What I want to make clear is that choosing to respond is not about not choosing to feel, or dulling your emotions, or abandoning your boundaries.

As we will continue to explore on our journey, feeling is healthy and expressing your feelings is healthy…

Responding is simply about honouring your emotions and expressing them in a way that is very intentional and conscious.

Arjuna. X